What would you do if you didn’t feel inhibition speaking in public?
Have you ever had an urge to do something in public, but you dismissed it as soon as the thought entered your mind?
My husband and I were camping with our buddies Alan and Cheryl at the beach on Cape Cod. Families and groups around us were clumped in cozy groups along the top of the ridge.
From the place we sat, the sand dropped down a soft inviting slope to the retreating tide.
And I had the strongest urge to roll down that hill.
But an equally strong invisible hand on my shoulder, saying “no, don’t do it”.
“I’m feeling inhibited,” I said to my friend Alan. “From doing what?” Alan asked.
“Rolling down this sandhill to the water.”
A small first step to overcome public speaking inhibition: permission and reassurance
“Oh, you can do that,” said Alan. “I give you permission.”
Magic words. That bit of assurance was all I needed.
I reached my arms out to stretch my body onto the sand warmed by the sun. And without caring if salt and crystals got stuck in my hair or under my butt, I let the pull of gravity take me, oh so slowly and delightfully downward, to the water’s edge where the little waves lapped at my outstretched form.
I looked up in time to see Cheryl lay down and roll like a torpedo screaming “Woooooo!”. Alan following suit, a bit more cautiously.
The best part was that feeling of freedom.
It could be that some people on the beach saw us— a bunch of grown-ups playing like 5-year-olds. Maybe they thought we were on drugs. Maybe they thought: “I want to be like that when I grow up.” Or maybe they just didn’t notice us at all.
How to stop holding yourself back from freely expressing yourself
Inhibition is so insidious. It presses in on us over the years from the rules we learn to follow, praise or reprimands from elders or peers, what we observe on our own to fit in and be liked.
Some of these forming factors may have felt uplifting or at least benign; others, hard and hurtful. The result is the same.
We hold ourselves back from freely expressing ourselves. Whether it’s speaking in public or on camera, or writing words on a page to share with others, we hold ourselves back with worry and concern of what others might think.
Let’s turn the tide around and find your freedom with this ABC.
- Assume the best of other people. Envision them send you positivity. Let yourself receive it and take it in. Rest in it.
- Be friendly. Look on your audience with positive regard. Help them feel at home and at ease. Look at them with appreciation. Appreciation for their presence and attention.
- Concede control. As much as we may strive to communicate clearly, most of the time, we express ourselves imperfectly. We don’t find exactly the right words. We don’t know an answer. Let go of embarrassment. If you are ok with where you are, with what you know and don’t know, and even let yourself be amused by your foibles, others will feel comfortable too.
Want to grow in your speaking confidence? Take this self assessment to discover your speaking strengths and weaknesses– where you feel the freest, and where you worry what other will think. Knowledge is power!
To your speaking confidence and delight in the limelight!
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