I’m bewildered by comments I hear explaining why getting rid of speaking fear could be a bad thing. While I appreciate the effort to normalize the fear of speaking, some of these ideas don’t make sense to me at all.
For instance, I read a comment by a speaking coach that said if you no longer feel scared when you speak, maybe it’s time to consider if you’re playing too safe.
Really?
So if you feel comfortable, relaxed and are having fun, somehow you are playing safe? And so you should keep yourself in a state of fear?
Last I looked, I grow faster and take more risks the more I enjoy a thing.
I’m more apt to play it safe when I’m afraid. Same with my clients. Fear makes them feel more inhibited and less freely able to express themselves.
Let’s say you’re afraid of being judged or worried about what people will think of you. Will this worry support you to express yourself more freely? I don’t think so.
Will worry make you feel more inhibited? Probably, yes.
Now, to be accurate, studies do show that a little bit of cortisol can increase your brain focus.
Here’s the thing: quantity matters. A little bit of salt in a recipe makes it yummy while too much salt ruins the dish.
Likewise, a bit of cortisol favorably increases your brain focus but too much will have the opposite effect – it will inhibit access to parts of your brain. That explains why, when you feel put on the spot, your mind might go totally blank.
What I do agree with here is that fear isn’t bad. Fear is simply the body’s way of saying you don’t feel safe.
In the case of public speaking, it’s the message that it’s not safe to be seen or heard, to voice our opinions, to stand out or draw attention to ourselves or a million other things.
So instead of ignoring the fear, hiding it, fighting it, pushing it away or through it, have a listen to it for the message it’s telling you.
When you see the fear of public speaking as a message, the question then becomes, “when did you decide it was safer to hide?”
I work with clients to restore this sense of safety. So that they can play big, take risks and experiment without worry. So they can share their message, expertise, and passion from a place of open-heartedness and joy.
If you are an entrepreneur, expert, author or professional and don’t love speaking to the degree you want, I can help you transform your experience.
I do this in a 3-month 1:1 intensive.
Together we take a look at the influencing experiences, the core wounds or messages from the past that gave you the belief that it wasn’t safe to be seen and heard. We heal and clear away those influences so they are no longer impacting you.
We replace the old neural pathways with new ones that support your desired core desired feelings when you speak – confidence, clarity, charisma, calm, so you can shift into them any time you speak.
You’ll transform your inner dialog so that you feel safe inside and out.
Get in touch if you’re interested and we’ll have a brief chat to see if this is a fit for you and your business. If yes, we could be having our first session in a week and you could be celebrating an amazing breakthrough in just a few months.
Imagine that!
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