What causes fear of public speaking?
Fear of public speaking is one of the most common phobias. It even has a name: glossophobia.
Although we’d like to feel it was less so, the things people say and do impact you, for better and for worse. We’re just wired that way.
When you were young, it was a BIG impact because you had fewer filters.
And this HUGELY influences how you feel when you speak and express yourself.
So if you have any anxiety when public speaking whether that’s in-person or on camera, live streaming or on video, then listen up.
Positive responses that help you overcome the fear of public speaking and build your speaking confidence
Let’s say as a kid you ran up to your friend with something great that popped into your mind and they respond: “that’s a great idea.”
Or you said to your dad, “I think all classrooms should have couches. It’s way more comfortable to read sitting on a couch than a hard chair” and he said, “what an interesting way of looking at it!”
Or you made a joke in class and your teacher said “you always crack me up.”
If these things were said to you you’d probably feel pretty good about yourself and believe:
- Good ideas come to me
- What I say matters
- I can be myself and be liked.
Let’s run that again with a different set of responses.
This time you run up to your friend with what popped into your head and they said “that’s a stupid idea.”
Or when you told your dad your couch-in-the-classroom image he said “So you think you’re smarter than your teachers?”
Or when you cracked a joke in math the teacher sent you to the principal’s office for unruly behavior.
Likely you’d come to different conclusions about yourself, like
🙁 I must be stupid
😞 People don’t like me
😕 What I think doesn’t matter
😞 I’d better be quiet. It’s not safe to be me.
Can you see how these small comments could create a cascade of self-doubt? A comment from the past can impact you for better or for worse. The small stuff adds up.
And sometimes there’s big stuff too, like for one of my clients whose mom told her she was evil and a punishment from God.
Or another who was called to the front of the class to point out “east” on the map. When she didn’t know, everyone laughed.
And what do you think the other kids in the class concluded?
Some version of “If I don’t know the answer to something, people are going to laugh at me.”
I can’t tell you how many clients I have that worry about this. No wonder!
“People are going to laugh at me” and other symptoms of speaking anxiety
How to stop the past from holding you back becoming a brilliant speaker
I used to read the words “Don’t let the past hold you back” and assumed that this meant you should ignore or disregard the past.
Now I know that doesn’t work, because even if you ignore the past, the past doesn’t ignore you. It “sticks” with you.
Those comments don’t just hurt at the moment – they also “teach” you that it’s safer to hide than to dance and sing, to share your thoughts at the dinner table, to take up space.
In order to “not let the past hold you back” go back to the past and make things right again.
How would you like to help that younger you?
What do you know about people now that you didn’t know then?
What needs to happen so you can forgive the negative public speaking experience?
Change how your memories live inside of you and finally be relaxed speaking on stage
You can’t change what happened but you can change how those memories live inside of you. And that makes all the difference.
When I realized I was holding onto hurts from the past, I knew I had to clear them away. I made a list of all the healing practices I loved and tried them out.
Public speaking healing practices
- I tapped and made statements using Emotional Freedom Technique.
- I envisioned my younger self and spoke with her.
- I journaled and danced for release.
- I spent hours at night thinking of the comments I’d been holding onto and forgave everyone I could think of.
- Most importantly, I forgave myself.
Something moved the needle because after a mere five days, the racing heart vanished. I finally felt relaxed on camera.
I was excited when it was my turn to share at a networking event.
I felt delighted to speak on stage.
And I see this transformation happening over and over with my clients.
How to get over your fear of public speaking
Clients come to me with speaking anxiety and leave with a much greater sense of confidence and happy anticipation of the limelight.
We do this not by ignoring the fear but by investigating it and seeing where it comes from.
But we don’t stop there because it’s not enough to know the root cause.
You need to resolve what you uncover.
I take you through an integrative creative healing process that returns you to a place of wholeness and confidence.
If you would love to get over your fear of speaking, check out my private coaching or the Clear Your Fear of Speaking Guided Journaling Program.
If you haven’t read it yet, my book, Delight In The Limelight, is the perfect place to begin and is available on all major bookstores across the world.
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